If you knew Morgan from the beginning, you know how much she changed over the past almost 15 years. If you didn't know Morgan way back in 2002 let me fill you in a bit.
When Sean and I walked in to Brazos Animal Shelter on November 2, 2002 to pick out a dog for me I had no idea what I was going to come out with but I knew I was going home with a dog, at least that's what I thought! We looked in each gated area and then looked again because none of them seemed just right. Sean finally called to me to meet him at a particular stall to take a look at this dog. She had been hiding in the back and we didn't even notice her when we first looked around. She was so small, not in size being a lab mix but she was skinny, unhealthy skinny. We took her outside to the yard and we could see how shy she was. She didn't want to go at first but then realized we were taking her outside and she decided this was ok. Once outside she was very hesitant to be around us. She would cower when we would try to pet her and she was shaking like a leaf. She had bruises on the knuckles of her front paws. We sat outside with her for a long while and she finally warmed up enough to come sit by us. I was hooked! I decided this was the dog that was coming home with me. She'd been at the shelter for over 2 weeks (which wasn't normal for this place, usually 2 weeks was their limit so they must have seen something in her too!) I walked her up to the front and told them I was adopting her. They pulled out the paper work and I began signing. Then they told me I couldn't take her home, I'd have to wait another week. Wait, what? The shelter had "donated" her, and some others, to TAMU Vet School so the 3rd year vet students could practice spaying and neutering. So after signing all the papers we left empty-handed. I went back every day after work to see her and bring her goodies so she wouldn't think we left her. I wanted her to know she was mine and she'd be coming home soon.
I had my mind set on naming my dog Riley. I LOVE the name Riley for a dog. I just kept looking at this dog and she didn't "look" like a Riley. After much thought we came up with the name Morrighan. Which is actually the name of Sean's best friend's dog at the time and it sounds a lot like Morgan when you pronounce it. It's Gaelic and it means "goddess of war." Thus, our dog became known as Morgan. Goddess of war, not sure that was accurate but we are pretty sure she went through hell before she got to us!
The day I picked her up she had these hot pink stitches from where they did her surgery and they lined about a fourth of her underside....there were a lot of stitches! We immediately took her to the Vet clinic in Bryan. The Dr. came in to see us and began the interrogation with "how long have you had this dog?" To which we explained about an hour, this was our first stop after adopting her and we were taking her to PetCo as soon as we were done to get her everything she needed. We got her checked out and she weighed 42.2 pounds which she was should have weighed at least 50 at this point. She was between 8 months and a year old. We were told to give her a good fatty diet to get some weight on her so she enjoyed scrambled eggs and yogurt and I'm sure some other goodies too!
Over time she started to trust people a little bit more. She would follow me wherever I went. She did not like being alone. She felt safe with her family. She would sleep in my bed with me. Eventually she would learn to sleep on a puppy bed but in the winter, when it was a little colder, she would still jump up on the bed with me, turn her 3 circles (it was always 3) and lay down curled up at my stomach or behind my knees in the crook. She couldn't get close enough and would most of the time want to be covered up too. She was spoiled but deserved every bit of it. She earned her keep by protecting her family. She would bark at anyone who dared walk in front of our house.,lose her little mind if you rang the doorbell and was ready to lunge and attack anyone who dared to knock on the door and wanted to our attention. She was very protective! There were many people who would tell her to be quiet and I would stop them and tell them that this was her job and she'd calm down soon. Sometimes with her family telling her it was ok and she'd get one more bark in and then go lay down wherever we were. She always had to have the last word!
Then the door bell rang and there was no barking. That's when I knew it was starting. That decline that happens when dogs get older. Morgan was about 13 when the barking stopped. She would still follow me to the door and when she realized someone was on the other side would start barking at them but it was taking her a little more time to realize they were there. It was weird. It had been more than 10 years of her barking at almost everything and now, she was losing some of her hearing. Her eyes were getting cloudy but she could still see. The peripheral was going.
We went in for her checkup in February 2016 and did blood work just to check everything out and the results came back gleaming. The Dr. said you wouldn't know she was 15 by looking at her results. I was elated to hear this. Knowing you have an older dog (basically already outside of the life expectancy of the breed) is very hard and you start thinking about what you will do when the "end" comes. After her check up everything seemed to be doing fine for her. She was sleeping a bit more but she was 15 and that's what old dogs do so I thought nothing of it. She was still up and walking around, trying to get into the trashcan, playing with Aspen and laying beside me while I worked and then headed to bed when it was time. She would go in to Sue's room and sleep on her bed sometimes when it was taking me a bit longer than she liked to go to sleep!
Sometime around the beginning of May I noticed her ribs were becoming a bit more prominent and I took her in on a Saturday to get a weight check. She'd been down 3lbs from last summer back in February but that didn't seem odd since her weight went back and forth during the seasons but now she weighed 48lbs. I had the girl at the front put that on her records and we decided to see if we could find a food with a bit more fat content to try to get her back up where she needed and I would bring her back in 2 weeks to check again. Two weeks later I brought her back and she was down to 44lbs. She was eating fine at that point. It was going into summer and it wasn't unusual for both dogs to slow down on their food intake with the temps getting hotter. I took her home and over the next week noticed her appetite was not great. She'd eat the wet food but not a lot of the dry so maybe her teeth were bugging her again. She was not given the best teeth in the world! That Friday, May 27th, the girls were playing a game in the living room and she was laying with them. They decided to take it to the kitchen to play at the table and Morgan followed. She fell under the table and just laid there. I went to go pick her up and she couldn't hold her self up. I finally got her to stand but her back paws were curled under the wrong way. I picked her up and got her in the car and called the Vet clinic on the way. We get to the clinic and find out there's no Dr. there. The two that had taken care of Morgan since we moved to Rowlett had left the practice sometime between February and May. Morgan was walking around better so we made an appointment for Saturday to get her checked out. We reran blood work, everything else looked good. Once the results came back they told a different story. Morgan was SEVERELY anemic and Dr. Avery couldn't believe she looked as good as she did during the evaluation. (He did not evaluate her, this was the first time I'd talked to Dr. Avery.) The next step was to try steroids to see if she would respond to this treatment but we had to wait about a week since she had been taking a pain medicine for her fall and the two are not good together.
This is the last picture I took of Morgan. Laying behind my chair, still trying to keep me company even though she was so weak. She was such a great dog!
I scheduled a visit for Morgan for today, June 7th at 11:30. During the week preceding this date we noticed more decline. She wasn't able to stand up for very long, not even 5 minutes it seemed. She wouldn't bark at the back door to be let in, which she always did. She laid down the majority of the time, got to a point where she wouldn't eat. I tried to put in the good stuff, people food which she hadn't been getting much of because of Aspen's allergies, and yesterday I couldn't even really get her to eat that. I hand fed her some Salmon, which she ate a little bit from me, and she had a scrambled egg in her food that she eventually did eat a little of too. She laid down behind my chair last night while I watched a show and then I went to bed, she did not follow. I waited a little bit and cried because I knew at that point that today would be a very hard day. I went back into the living room to go get her because I needed her to sleep on her puppy bed last night so I got her attention and she finally got up and came to bed. This morning I got her up to go potty and went to the gym. Trying to be normal, I guess. Got home and got her up to go potty again...she wobbled back and forth to gain her balance and was walking on her tip toes. She came in and laid down in the hallway outside of Sue's room. I went to get her to come sit with me until Sean got home and she couldn't stand up. I picked her up and sat on the couch and petted her.
We took her to the vet and the outlook for her was not good. We met Dr. Avery today, he was very nice and honest with us which I am grateful for. We could have given her steroids and prolonged this for a short time but it might have only made her feel better for a day or two and we would have been back in the same place a week or so later. I couldn't do that to her. She was in pain and her body was so sick. She had no color left in her gums, tongue, or ears and her gums were turning yellow (signs of kidney failure). She didn't need to suffer so I could have another day with her. I would have done anything to have more time with her if the outcome would have been better. This was the right decision to make even though it hurts like hell. And we are more than sad, torn, broken-hearted.
Morgan lived to be around 15 years old. I had her for almost 14 years. We gave her the best life we could and I hope she knew that. She was my best friend, she was with me for a lot of major events in my life. She kept me company when I was alone, protected our family for as long as she could. I will miss her terribly. I will wonder where she is for a while I'm sure. I will wonder why I can walk normally without tripping over her or having to scoot her out of the way to get through the halls. I will miss her being at the door when I come home. I already have missed her kisses because she wasn't strong enough to even lick my hand. I will miss her laying next to me on the floor in the living room and on her puppy bed at night. I will miss petting the bridge of her nose, my favorite place on her head not hers! I will miss her soft, water dog ears. I will not miss watching her waste away. I will not miss wondering if she will be able to stand up in the morning to walk. I will not wonder if we made the best decision for her because I know we did.
Run free in Doggy Heaven sweet girl. Have fun with all of your friends up there. I hope you'll be waiting at the gates for me when it my time to go to Heaven. Until then I will miss you and I love you so very much, I hope I told you enough and showed you every day.
